Seldom I will pen down my thoughts on motherhood in my blog, because motherhood is such a broad terms even though is only a 10 letters word. But the recent sickness on my girl makes me think so much about it and some how I’m just glad that making a decision on my 2nd business is a correct move. Yes, even though I’m staying so positive all along, it does come across my mind whether am I doing the right thing or no.
Don’t worry my girl is just having a normal viral fever, but it seems like she caught a 2nd viral while she had her 1st, so this sickness actually drag for coming 2 weeks, or even longer if i include the rash (viral allergy reaction, which I thought it was food allergy).
Ok so what happen is instead of getting better, she got worse, she has a sudden spike of fever to 40 plus degree Celsius, by right she is suppose to get better because it was the 5-6 days of her viral fever. So we brought her to KKH a&e and got her blood check. Although all physical and diagnostic check shows that she is really having a viral fever, but the sudden spike of fever makes us and the doctor worried. So he decided to start her on antibiotics and suggest that she don’t go to CC for at least a week and see how it goes, if the fever doesn’t go back by Wednesday then she has to be admitted.
All along my girl has been quite healthy, so the moment the doctor suggested 1 week leave, my heart dropped. Literally drop and a sudden guilt dwell upon me. It’s not possible for me to take one week leave. My supervisor is not mean, she is a very nice lady, and I always have no issues taking leave. Just that the responsibilities from work, especially I’m precepting a new girl for the whole month, and my job is impossible to work from home because I do counselling on pre-operation patients. I wish I can be irresponsible and just take 1 week leave and hack care everything.
In case, readers start asking me (if you never follow my blog long enough), my mil passed away already, left my fil. My fil can’t take care of her is impossible, he don’t really even play with her much, so don’t mention about taking care. My parents both are still working, and the salary is much more or comparable with me and they are so young (and look young). Is not that they don’t want to take care of my kids, they are willingly to if I need help over the weekends. They love all their grnadchildren, and keep msg me to update them (every 2hrly) on Yi He sickness. And I feel is unfair that I just throw my kids to my parents to take care, I feel that for their age they are suppose to enjoy playing with them. Especially when we are young my parents made a lot of effort in taking care of us and didn’t just throw us to someone else. So is unfair to ask them quit their life now and take care of grandchildren when they spend half of their life taking care of us. And I’m not complaining, just think when you are old, do you want your kids to throw their toddler to you to take care and you have no life yourself and you are old your energy level is not as good as before?
As for maid, if you don’t get it can read my previously post, if I can’t even leave a healthy child to a maid alone, what makes you think that I will leave a sick child to the maid alone.
Taking care of a sick toddler is not easy, even though I’m appreciate that my daughter is still quite sensible when she is so sick. Just an example, when she was coughing she vomited out the milk she just drank not long, so I have to make her seat one side while we change the bed sheet. She didn’t make noise, and wanted to help us change like what she always do, but she is so sick so we just gave her simple task like passing her the dirty linen and ask her place it at the corner. While I was checking her bolster, she thought it was dirty, so she ask me to wait while she go and take wet tissue and clean it then she throw the tissue away.
While I was cooking she throw temper (more of like irritable), but when I need to start washing plates, she said she want to help me. Then when hubby is back with the sweet potatoes from shilin and gave it to her, she say no she want to eat her porridge first. After dinner gave her fruits she still offer me her share and feed me. How not to sayang her.. (on a note, I’m not a 爱的教育 supporter, I still believe appropriate caning is needed).
So it actually pains my heart to see my girl unwell, feeling irritable and yet at the same time she try to be as helpful and sensible as before. So imagine leaving her in child care when she is sick really makes me heart pain and also I can understand much better why parents have to bring their sick child to child care. Who can afford to take so many days of leave away from work to take care your child? There is only 6 days of childcare leave, and even though my annual leave have increased from 14 to 21, but still it wouldn’t be sufficient enough as I have to anticipate the next 8-9 months what kind of emergency will come up that need me to use my leave. So imagine those who has less than 21 days… every single leave is precious to them.
Before anyone want to blame that your child fall sick because of parents sending their sick child over, think about it, are you willingly to take care of your child for 1 week or more? A simple cough and flu also takes a few days as there is still high possibilities of transmitting the disease even they are well. Of course, I do agree some parents still send their suspect HFMD or chicken pox children to school which is irresponsible > for this I will definitely feel pissed off.
This is actually one of the factors why Singaporean don’t wish to give birth. Even though how hard i’m trying to ignore all this external factors and go according to plans to have 4 kids (3 for the time being), but can’t deny that this single incident makes me feel guilty as a working mom and if I’m being force to go back to work force will I have 2nd thought having number 3 or even number 4. But to become a stay at home mom, asking for cash from hubby is not what I want either, so all I can hope for is my back up plan can work out.