Dealing with my child hitting


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As a parent, placing my child in a child card centre, receiving calls from teacher is always not a pleasant feeling. The reasons can be many. It can be that your child is having a fever, or that your child was bitten/hit by other kids, and the worst part is hearing that your child has hit other toddler. Every time when I received a call about  Yi He being bitten or gotten hit by 1 of her classmates, I always felt a sense of relief as I do not wish my girl is the one hitting other people’s child.
Unfortunately, today we received a call that Yi He has hit one of her classmates.
Worse part, the teacher said the victim ended up having nose bleeding

Putting myself into the parents’ shoes, they will be very upset and maybe angry with either Yi He or me.

So what exactly happened?

Yi He want to sit with this particular classmate, let’s call her A. So she tried to squeeze herself with A, but A refused.
Yi He: I want to sit with you
A: I don’t want to sit with you
And this Yi He decided to strike her “iron hand” and hit on A’s nose.

I know kids fight for every single ridiculous reason, but it has upset me that Yi He decided to use this method to resolve this issue. Kids do not know how to express well, they do not know their strength and control their emotion. What really upset me is Yi He decided to hit A just because she doesn’t want to sit with her, and to make matters worse, her actions had caused A to nose bleed. πŸ™

My heart shattered at that moment when the teacher show me A’s bleeding photos. Haiz.. Can imagine how painful and upset the parents will feel.
I can sense that Yi He knows that what she did was wrong, because the moment she saw me, she asked me to carry her. So I carried her to a corner and ask why she hit A. She just keep quiet, refused to answer but she talk to me on other topics. Obviously she is trying to avoid this conversation. Before I put her down to wear her shoes, I told her that I’m upset about it and it’s very wrong of you to hit your friend. She still keep quiet.  Throughout the whole conversations, I wasn’t reprimanding her, my tone was soft and upset.

I whatsapped my mom, told her what happen, because I’m not sure how to handle as she’s avoiding my questions. My mom told me, just tell her that if she continue to hit her friends, nobody is going to play with her. Finally, she replied me in a sad voice and say “don’t want”. So I told her if she want friends to play with you, you shouldn’t hit them, even if they hit you, just tell the teacher.
I asked my close mommy friends and my siblings on whether should I  get something for A, my sis suggest an apology card, which I think is a good idea. So I told Yi He about it, at first she refused to write the card, until I told her, if you don’t apologise to your friend, in the future she wouldn’t play with you. So she agreed.

And here is the apology card that she has done with my help.
IMG-20141216-WA0028 IMG-20141216-WA0030
So after drawing, I explained to her what the wordings were about, made her repeat and understood what this apology card actually meant.

After sitting back and thinking through about what her teacher have said (independence level and self-protection level very high) about her, I feel that she may be upset about why her classmate doesn’t want to seat with her. She doesn’t how to control her emotions well, therefore that’s her most straight forward reaction, just because she wants to get attention from A. I’m glad that this incident, serves as a wake up call that I should stop focusing on her to be independent, it’s time to focus on her EQ. Now my home work is working on her EQ.

Any suggestion on how to deal with this, especially parents who have been through this before? Welcome to share!


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