The title may be a bit exaggerating for some, especially if I compare to some of what my friends or others mommy have encounter. But to me,  as a 2nd time mom,  breastfeeding for the 2nd time, definitely is not.

And some more I’m producing a lot more than what my girl is drinking so I should be happy right? *shake head* (Initially was 90mls 2hrly,  but drag to 3hrly as advised by the dr because she keep having reflux problems and vomit milk)

During my first breastfeeding the only issues I faced is Yi He loves to suckle for comfort which is a norm for most breastfeeding babies, but for her, she ends up quite colicky. I have to carry her do housework, cook,  sleep etc.. All this is still bearable but still i stop latching once I’m back to work and feed her only ebm (expressed breast milk), but kind of a mistake coz my supply drop tremendously after serious viral fever.. Which makes me not able to boost my supply back.

 

So before Xin He is born,  I decided to latch her fully for a month,  start pumping and bottle feed but continue to latch her at night. Plans seems smoothly for first few days, and I thought she’s a good latcher. Because first thing she did was searching and start latching on my nipple during skin to skin contact after delivery.

But as days goes by some how I feel that she was not clearing my boobs,  but i just brush it aside. On the 5th day when we did a jaudice check,  her jaudice was at 249. But it still nvr bothers me that it actually starting to affect her latching i still continue latching fully until one day somehow i came to realised she’s not going to empty my boobs, coz she has been falling asleep! Me also fall asleep when I’m latching her during the night feeds.

I got to pump!!

This “wake up call” came a bit late… But still I nvr give up and insist to latch her. So i latch and pump…

Me performing multi task ~~ one side latching one side pumping

But still this method is not helping.. Slowly my boobs getting quite sore, engorged and lumpy. Even my underarm starts to have lump (there are milk ducts at underarm, one of the reason me not using perfume for many yrs since I’m preparing for #1 baby).

My massage lady is very good,  she helps me to massage my sore boobs.
Lucky I have 10 sessions of massage,  so everyday my massage lady help me to massage my boobs. But each massage sessions is a toture to me,  feel like punching someone face. Is worse than giving birth.

Why I say so.

Coz giving birth is only that few hours of contraction pain….

BUT I HAVE STRONG LET DOWN AND ENGORGED BOOBS EVERY HOUR!!

And its kind of painful.. Imagine 24hrs a day,  i have let down 24 times?!  I didn’t even latch my baby hrly so I don’t understand why I’m having let down hrly.. Sometimes not even hr yet my let down starts “reporting” to me. And only 2nd week after birth, I have already used up one box (60pcs) of pigeon breastpad, all fully soaked. Thanks to my friend Shermain,  she help me buy another 2boxes back.

Wait… Sway things comes in pairs.

Worse things happen in Confinement which i seriously don’t want to have it but haiz…. ITCHY!

Realised that I’m kind of allergic to ginger. Took me 2 rounds of Confinement to realised… Slow or what -.-”
But too late… My tummy itch like hell,  my ass **** (too gross and rude, fill the blanks yourself) also itchy… Leg also itchy..

This is how ugly my tummy looks like now.. No stretch marks but ugly patchy allergic reaction. And this was taken just last week when it got better..

So my binder can’t put more than 8hrs the max 2-3hrs each time… Haiz..

So engorged boobs and itchy, thats not the end. My boobs get so tender and painful,  fever decided to visit me on the 2nd August. Why i remember so clearly coz next day is my birthday ~~ how nice.

Drag my damn weak and aching body see GP, cried in the car.. Feeling awful as why this has to happen just before my birthday and why #1 i have no issues but #2 breastfeeding wasn’t so smooth.

Confinement lady offer to take care of baby over the night but i rejected her,  because i still got to wake up 3hrly to pump milk and also baby cot is in my room. But she take the initiative to take care of her till 11pm,  while i went to bed after seeing dr. Was so sick that i didn’t realised she came into the room and put baby in the cot.

Lucky fever went down when i woke up suddenly with my engorged boobs ~ time to pump.
At this point of time,  my girl is totally on bottle feeding with my ebm. My massage lady encourage me to let my girl latch but I was very relectant. So I drop the idea.

Msg my sis and 訴苦, told her can’t be I’m going to pump every hrly or 2hrly right?! She say i siao and recommended me away to solve this.
So I followed what my sis recommed
When ever i start to feel really engorged, I pump out a bit to relieve my boobs,  and slowly drag until the 3 hrs to resume normal pumping. I do this for about 2 days,  it get better. And before each pump i do it with warm compress and cabbage compress. Do until my fingers skin peeling T.T

Things got slightly better this week,  but still stuck with itchy,  diarrhea (suspect that I can’t take too much tonic stuff) and fainting spells (started yesterday) still on and off.

My boobs still having let down hrly but better than before. My boobs start to get engorged 2.5hrs instead of 3hrs, and cause soreness at my underarm/hand but still bearable. I have also start latching my girl back but only at night. There’s no way she can clear my boobs for me so i still got to pump before or after she latch because now night time I don’t follow the 3hrly timing strictly, i pump whenever i wake up feeling engorged or after she latched, either one.

This is how much i have pumped on my 2nd week. I didn’t even have so much during Yi He’s time at 2nd week of pumping.

So now at 3rd week,  my fridge 2nd freezer compartment is already full and managed to get a freezer in a rush.

So now my supply maintained it at 190-210mls each pump I hope I can keep it this way once i go back to work.

Seriously my case compare to some which I have know is really small case. I don’t have bleeding nipple,  pus etc, but just all this alone enough for me to pull hair.. So really kudos to all mommies who experienced worse than me but still want to breastfeed.

Some funny photos to share to end this nightmare post

My girl trying to pump milk too.. I asked her who she want to pump the milk for.. She said she want to give Xin He.. Awww.. So sweet…

My girl drinking small slips of breast milk. Actually i did try asking her to suck my breast to solve my problems,  she happily just put her mouth at my nipple but not sucking -.-

If u asking me whether did I have the thoughts of giving up.. Yes i do have. But only a few secs i gave up the idea. Because
1. since young my mom told us the benefits of bf and encourage as to bf for a yr (but she didn’t stress us and yes my siblings and i are breastfeed babies).
2. I only manage to breastfeed my girl for 7-8months which i feel kind of bad.
3. Tmd… I suffer until like that want me to give up.. No way… So (self slap) continue to “suffer”
4. Formula milk damn chor leh… Tahan… -.-”

I couldn’t stress enough,  like i mentioned before in my 1st breastfeeding post (link on the left), even if u feed formula milk or decide to give up breast milk,  the decision doesn’t makes u a bad mom or irresponsible mom. Because if u r too stress up, it’s hard to build up supply and post natal depression is worse than the gulity feeding formula milk.

Your mental and health well being is the best gift u can give to your baby in their growing up process.

To clarify I haven’t taken any boost supply milk stuff yet except papaya soup which is one of the Confinement soup which i had also for my #1.

Those who are keen to boost their supply can check out the following suggestion
> lactation cookies
> granola cereal
> mothers (milk) tea
> pump every 3hrly,  best is pump after you have latch your baby to boost supply.